Either

1) One Day the pain we may have experienced will be so significant that our only yearning left is real Love=God.

Or

2) we don’t Need to undergo that much pain ourselves because of inner observation and divine grace and we develop a real understanding for the need of love by our power of discrimination.

However the second way requires real sincerety towards god, readiness to forgive and a strong desire to reflect and understand about our own situation as well as the power to immediately put this into action. Unfortunately most of us lack these three so they have to go through deepest shit themself to open their heart and stop fighting. Pride, stubbornness and competition with god can easily prevent god from allowing us to learn the gentlest way possible.
There is no plan but the most loving one for us – it can only be ourselves who prevent this from happening and create the need for tougher lessons.

It’s very simple: if we don’t provide asskicks for our ego ourselves life will arrange them for us – and the result will just be a perfect reflection of our missing readiness to reconcile with god and accept Love from the Bottom of our heart.